Sometimes we tend to blame others for our tortured soul; we blame others for our unhappiness. But it’s actually how we perceived ourselves and how we see ourselves that basically make-up for our unhappiness and this I learned the hard way and still keeping on learning.

Sometimes, we can get through the hard times and overcoming unhappiness by thanking and forgiving those who inflicted pain in us because without them we will not become stronger and better persons.

Life’s trials allows us to be honed to become better, responsive, and "grounded" person. So for 2009, I’m giving myself a break. I’m releasing myself totally from emotional pain and strive to meet my goals. I will have my own VISION board and keep on working towards my small and big goals in life.

So today, I’m going to list down my goals and focus on them and perhaps in one way or another, I will be an inspiration. So here’s my small and big goals for 2009 and beyond:

SMALL GOALS:

1. Learn to cook bopis.

2. Learn to drive the TMX motorcyle.

3. Learn how to cut hair.

4. Own a digital camera.

5. Have a videoke night and movie marathon night with my level 1 and level 2 colleagues.

6. Win my bet against 5 sophomore students but still they get good grades despite losing the bet (hehehe!) (maybe a B grade will do! hehehe!)

7. Book in a classy hotel and have a real honeymoon!

8. Own a queen-sized sofa bed.

9. Own at least 1 decent formal gown for those special occasions.

10. Own another pair of maong jeans.

11. Own a pair of happy feet (bakya)

12. Own a colorful stethoscope (violet or pink)

13. Own a pepper grinder.

14. Buy another pair of eyeglasses.

15. Buy a new belt for my jeans.

16. Buy a new and sturdy hand/shoulder bag.

17. Own a Chicken Soup for the Soul book

18. Buy a bottle of Bath & Body Works Cologne - Pink Grapefruit

19. Buy a pair of white duty shoes.

20. Buy a pair of colored contact lens (sosyal!)

BIG GOALS:

1. Take the NCLEX and IELTS exams and pass it one time only.

2. Learn to drive a car.

3. Go abroad (just anywhere through God’s leading).

4. Own a house and lot

5. Bring another soul to the Lord.

6. Learn how to forgive and forget.

7. Unlearn to be OC-OC.

8. Learn video and photo editing.

9. Diligently pray before going to bed even if I’m dog-tired.

10. Read and UNDERSTAND the Bible page-by-page from Genesis to Revelation.

11. Learned when to shut my mouth and be unassertive. toink!

12. Spend more hours with my son and daughter.

13. Rhinoplasty. (still wishing and hoping).

14. Lose 30 lbs and maintain 120lbs weight! (bakit kase masarap kumain!)

15. Give Joy Orbe her dream car!

16. Own an Ipod nano (very cool gadget!)

17. A vacation trip abroad and go to Disneyland and be a giggling girl even just for one (1) day.

18. Own a car!

19. Finalize my Last Will and Testament (spooky but you never know if it’s your time).

20. Donate a Concert Hall (Auditorium) for AUP.

Twenty small goals and big goals! Some may take longer to accomplish but I know in God’s own time it will be accomplished not by my will but God's will!

God answers prayers in His own time. This is what I have learned since working for AUP as clinical instructor.

I have been yearning and praying for a laptop that I can use during my lectures. I never realized how important having a laptop would be until I needed it. My previous job provided me with a good computer to work on. But things are now different here at AUP, my new job. Everybody here in the CON office shares in the use of the two computers, and you have to fall in line and patiently wait your turn because most of the time it is being used.

Now, I don't have to wait to use the office computer for I now have my own laptop! A DELL Inspiron, with reasonable specs that fit my 'demanding' needs. It is worth every peso, thanks to my ever supportive and hardworking husband, who made it possible.

Next project? LCD projector!!! anyone wants to donate? hehehe!

I was the first teacher to teach RLE for Health Care I. My topic is Interviewing skills. Unlike with fundamentals of nursing last summer, my students this 1st semester, have more inhibitions. Perhaps because they are not yet exposed to any hospital experiences/settings.

Different sections would sometime mean different teaching style approaches. So far, it's really challenging to be a teacher, especially when teaching in the afternoon, inside a very humid classroom. The students have the tendency to fall asleep.

Since I don't have a laptop like the rest of my colleagues at the college of nursing, I brought the CPU of our computer at home and attached it to the LCD projector. Although it requires a lot of carrying and energy, I really do not mind as long as my students learn from my lecture. A student approached me last week and told me, "Ma'am, you are a cool teacher!". Wow! that's so good to hear! Hopefully, I will be able to afford to buy my own laptop so that I won't have to carry the heavy CPU from home to CON from time to time. In the mean time, I'm making the most out of my available resources. hehehe!

Next month I'm going to teach Nursing Process. I'm full of anxiety on this topic because this is not really my type of topic to discuss. I will try my best to give an interesting presentation. In the mean time, I'm checking about 400 assignments now. whew!

A life of a teacher is challenging and humbling. The pay may not be as lucrative as my previous employment but the overwhelming appreciation and love I get from my students are more than enough to make my day!

Till the next teaching experience!

1. Her JoYFuL attitude.

2. Her LoNG eyelashes.

3. Her KiSSeS (which are rather rare).

4. Her ShORT unEvEN hair.

5. Her LoVE for her family.

6. Her SMiLE, which she wears regularly.

I remember when you were so tiny that I could cradle you in my arms and watch you sleep --- so oblivious to the world. When you woke, you'd smile at me and curl all your fingers around one of mine, and hold on so very tightly that I thought you'd never let go. Those same precious fingers wind themselves around my heart, too... and to this day, they have never let go.