I've just wokeup. It's still dark. I had been dreaming. I can't say it was good--neither was it a nightmare. It was just your average 'anything goes' type of dream. But it wasn't about the dream that woke me up; I just did, for no reason at all. And as I lay in the dark thinkingabout it, thesethoughtsabout my kids, a bank and pets, all of which just streamed into my mind like the cool wind seeping through the open window...

Kids are banks. You invest on them now, and in the end, you gain from them. What most parentsdon't realize however, iswhat to invest in them that matters most in the end.

Investing on children isn't about milking out something from them in the future. It's not 'payment' for what you gave them in the past. You don't own your kids. And treat them like property the rest of your life as parents. Nor do you have the right tomake them feel obliged to give back to you by stringing on the paconsensya effect: "...nung maliliit pa kayo, di nyo alam gaano ka hirap sustentuhan kayo..." Your kids didn't choose you as parents in the first place. You brought them out, yes. But only for this purpose? If you had a hard time and sustained them not out oflove, then why the heck did you gave birth to your kidsin the first place? That's an injustice.

The difference between farm animals and pets is in their treatment. We love farm animals. We take good care of them because they give us something in return. We truly love them for without them, we'd be hard up. Pets? We love them equally as much as farm animals--albeit, even greater. Pets don't work however, nor do we force them to that purpose. We give everything to them because we get something in return. And it's not about financial returns unlike with farm animals. We are fulfilled giving out ourunselfish love and affection, caring for them, because they make us feel good and 'happy'; when,at the end of the day,coming home, just seeing them, being with them, playing with them, is all that matters despite having a hard day at work.

Right now, there's an aspect about investing in my own kids that I realize how valuable it will become in the future. It's not about finances. And because you don't put in much, it seemsso trivial that most parents don't see the value of it. But it's a challenge to get past that mentality if you value looking at the 'big picture' and what it will give to you in the future. That aspect is investing emotionally on your kids--not for the purpose of strumming the 'paconsyensya effect' on them later on. It's all aboutinvesting on being there for them, right from the start, whenever I can. It's when my kids call on me "Daddy, look" and seem to be your tail, 24hours a day--not merely tolerating them, but giving them quality time. It's getting past being tired from work and not making that an excuse, to take the time and effort to really look at what your kids want you to look at, or listen to what they really want you to listen to. It's not about mumbling, "Wow, that's nice" when my kids are showing me their drawing, or their dance steps--without even bothering to look at it. I have to look at what they want me to see, take the time to examine it, and comment appropriately. That's quality time.

I realized that I don't want my kids growing up, for them to realize themselvesthat for the better part of their lives, I wasn't there for them. And it's not just about being physically there for them during graduation. It's having been emotionally bonded and connected to themall throughout those years, being involved in their school affairs, studies, love life,that when important events such as graduation comes, it truly is a celebration not of accomplishment, but of being a parent, a friend, a confidant, an indispensable part oftheir success that I want mykids to acknowledge the fact they had not only supportive parents, but a friend whom they had called upon and been actively involved and interested about their affairs, no matter how trivial,all throughout the better part of theirlives...

You'd think listening to the radio, reading books and writing's enough to keep one busy. Well, that used to be the case for me, months ago, still new to my job at FortMed, Paseo de Sta.Rosa. While waiting for patients, reading and writing occupied my time 'productively'---whereas listening to the radio was a short break that I'd take to break the monotony of straining my eyes from reading or to relax my hand from pushing pen on paper. And on occasions that my wife could afford to lend me her laptop, writing or dabbling with the computer would have me glued to the screen for the rest of the day--with the addition of the occasional 'nakaw na sandali'--stealing a few moments of nap that is, on the plush dental chair (no wonder it's said, it's the 'best seat in the house' in any dental office).

But after awhile, after months on end being coop up in the dental office, waiting for patients that hopefully would show up for their appointments, you'd be clamoring for other things and activities to do that hopefully not only rivet your attention, but have you so focused on it, you hope it'll distract you from the exasperation felt from having your shift ended without seeing a patient. I could go wandering off and have the assistant 'text' me if ever a patient calls in for a schedule, or if a walk-in patient do comes by. That'll work--if I owned my own dental office, that is. But being employed, that'll constitute 'abandonment' from one's post. So I needed something to add to my usual activities of 'occupy thee thy time' till a client comes, without leaving my post.

Had WiFi been available at FortMed, I could be 'in heaven'; using the few idle hours waiting between appointments and turning it into a more 'productive session'. But no, FortMed doesn't have WiFi. Neither do they have cable TV for that matter (unlike in my former place of work). Oh well. Maybe if the PT room had a treadmill and a gym locker, well, that would seem an alluring activity to go into--if only. But with no such 'diversion' I'm 'locked up' to my own devices; to fend for myself to keep me from going insane ;-)

Recently, my little brother bought me a portable gaming console. A Nintendo DS Lite, as a Christmas gift. And you'd think only kids would be so happy with that. But after a few hours spent on the console, I wondered myself whether I'm an adult or a kid, for this I realized that no matter how old one considers himself to be, playing games (may it be real games or video games) is for everybody ( irregardless of age or what others have to say). This, I truly found out, especially with the game Pokemon: Pearl Version. A child's game I know, but like food you'd never tried before that at first, by looking at it, you'd simply decline, given a chance of tasting it, you then find yourself saying, "where'd you been all my life" :-D As simple as the game may seem, it's really quite 'engaging'. So amusing it is, it's more than enough to provide me with more than the distraction I needed to block out the hours of waiting ;-) Thank you little bro for having me keep in touch with a part of all of us which we adults often suppress ;-)

All work and no play--and you know how the rest of the adage goes--still is an 'old time truth'.